Nothing drives a reporter crazy, more than a long press release, than maybe a long press release that doesn't convince them to care about the topic. If it's long and complicated, you might as well have emailed yourself. If you want results fast, make it easy for your Media outlets to understand and even CARE about your story pitch.
I ask my clients a series of questions about their event, program, topic before I make a pitch, they may seem like obvious questions but I find that most of the time the client hasn't truly articulated these answers on paper or out loud. It makes a difference.
1.) Why is this XX important?
2.) Why should someone take time out of their day to support or pay money for XX?
3.) If you were to describe xx to a 6th grader, your son, mother or husband, what would you say?
4.) Why would anyone care about this? Why should anyone care about this?
Of course these questions change in variation depending on what I'm pitching but you get the point. Make it completely simple right off the top why media outlets should invest their time to connect your story to the public. If you can't communicate it passionately? Why SHOULD they? By all means take the time to clearly explain the WHO, WHAT and WHERE, but spend a considerable amount of time on the WHY. In this day and age when reporters have little time and less resources, it gets results. Simply.